Psychology is experiencing one of its most significant periods in recent years. Its current popularity has significantly increased the importance of this discipline. Furthermore, people’s understanding of psychology and the potential benefits of applying it to daily life has grown. Many people are already using certain techniques. For example, counterintuitive persuasion has proven effective in the workplace, in friendships, and even in awkward social situations. In other words, it’s about getting the other person to think the same way we do.
One of the keys are: tell them they are under no obligation to say ‘yes’
The fact is that a ‘magic’ phrase can be the deciding factor in the success or failure of asking for something. Various studies conducted over the years affirm that the key to convincing someone to do something is to tell them they are under no obligation to say “yes.” A French scientist, as an experiment, solicited donations for sick children using two methods, which allowed him to discover the most persuasive phrase. This experiment demonstrates what was explained earlier.
In this example, Nicolas Gueguen, a behavioral scientist, conducted a curious study to find that elusive phrase. He approached 640 people and asked them if they would make a monetary donation to organizations for sick children. He used two different ways of asking the question. To some he asked, “Surely you’re interested in organizations for children with health problems. Could you help us by making a donation?”; and to others he said, “Surely you’re interested in organizations for children with health problems. You’ll probably refuse, but I’m wondering if you could help us by making a donation.” The difference in the responses between the two groups yielded results. In the first group, 25% accepted the terms and made a donation, while in the second, 39.1% agreed to donate their money.
You’re free to say no; Please don’t feel obliged; No pressure; No need to reply
The way we ask for or express something is crucial in determining the response we receive. For example, in another case study with experts, Shadé Zahrai, a high-performance educator, behavioral researcher, and leadership strategist, shared four phrases that can be used in almost any situation to help persuade someone without being too pushy. While changing someone else’s mind is generally beyond our control, Zahrai offers some ideas for navigating potentially awkward situations. The phrases she mentions are: You’re free to say no; Please don’t feel obliged; No pressure; No need to reply.
We know this is very common; guilt can become overwhelming for many
Thus, what experiments and expert analysis have shown is that people react to sensations, feelings, and emotions. If a phrase doesn’t have a “push,” so to speak, it doesn’t grab the listener’s attention. Therefore, regarding the experiment, the researcher highlighted that guilt was another factor that influenced the success achieved in the second group. And we know this is very common; guilt can become overwhelming for many. The fact is, the phrase made them appear unconcerned about the sick children and, to some extent, it was as if it “forced” them to make the donation.
In short, if our aim is to turn an adverse situation around and into one that benefits us, we can put this type of action into practice. Although, obviously, it must be something that doesn’t radically harm the other person, much less cause them harm. So if, for example, what you want is to make (or cancel) social plans with someone, taking the pressure off the matter can often help you achieve what you hope for.