Modern life often feels like a whirlwind; the alarm goes off, you wake up, and before you know it, it’s time to go to bed again. Our daily lives are a whirlwind of work, commuting, household chores, and family obligations. It’s normal to reach the end of the day with our energy levels at zero. The everyday churn and work burnout leave us with little will to deal with anything else apart from sitting on the sofa and doomscrolling.
The chores pile up to such an extent that many couples have realized they can go a whole week without having a meaningful conversation with their significant other. We spend five days eagerly awaiting Saturday so we can catch up emotionally. But when the weekend arrives, the pressure to have two perfect days off is exhausting—and often fruitless. But is it possible to prevent the distance from growing when we don’t have time for ourselves? Psychologists say yes, it is possible.
According to experts, intimacy and emotional connection don’t require more time, but more intention. It has been shown that the happiest marriages are based on small, quick daily rituals that add up to a firm anchor of well-being in the relationship.
(Atomic) Small Habits that Change Everything
When we think of grand gestures of love, we think of expensive gifts or romantic getaways. While these are wonderful things, the true emotional fabric of a relationship is nourished by daily consistency. These are quick moments of connection in which the couple can catch up or synchronize emotionally, even on a busy day with lots of chores. That’s why experts have identified five simple habits that the happiest couples do during the work week:
Mini morning routine
The early bird gets the worm, but few people are naturally early risers. The rest of us have to begrudgingly get up at the crack of dawn to deal with the schedule these early risers decided to impose on the rest of society. While the average couple wakes up, gets dressed, and rushes out the door without barely looking at each other, happy couples try to find five or 10 minutes to cuddle in bed or share their first cup of coffee.
It doesn’t have to be a fancy breakfast with avocado toast or a movie-like buffet. Just sharing a few moments before the hustle and bustle of the day helps the couple remember that they are a team.
Check in often
If your partner doesn’t have to work remotely from home, they often spend most of the day away. You don’t need to call each other and have a deep 30-minute conversation over lunch, but intilling the habit of sending funny memes, quick anecdotes, or a simple heart emoji throughout the day is a better sign of validation and encouragement in the middle of the day.
Individual self-care
People with stressful jobs often need a period of decompression when they get home. They’ve had a busy (even negative) workday and need 10 or 15 minutes alone before interacting with anyone. A confident partner knows how to give the other person space and doesn’t start talking to them the moment they walk through the door. That time to yourself helps clear all the mental clutter that has accumulated during the day.
If you are feeling burnout, a silent commute to put your thoughts in order, a short walk around your neighborhood, or a shower as a post-work habit will help you clear your head so that you can be your best version to your partner.
Prioritize time together
Without realizing it, evenings end up being solitary sessions; while one person washes the dishes and feels thirsty, the other may end up on their computer. Even if you are both sitting on the sofa, if each of you is looking at your cell phone, it will be the same as being completely alone.
A couple that prioritizes each other also looks for a time when there are no distractions. Find a moment when there are no children, pressing household chores, or cell phone notifications, and just think about quality time when you give each other your full attention.
Check in before going to bed
If you’ve been texting each other throughout the day, it might seem like you can just go to sleep. However, a heart-to-heart chat before bed can clear up any arguments you’ve had during the day that you haven’t been able to resolve. It’s also a good time to thank your partner for all the nice things they’ve done for you throughout the day.
So now you know, the happiest couples aren’t the ones posting photos on Instagram all day long. They’re the ones who show each other that they’re there for each other, day after day.