Many people believe that when children grow up and leave home, they can spend their time focusing on resting, travelling, enjoying their free time, and worrying less about money. However, for some parents, this stage is not what they expect it to be.
Today, we are going to tell you a story about a couple in California who had to completely change their plans when their adult daughter came back home to live with them. So, let’s find out how much they spend to help their children.
Daughter coming bank home
The story happens in Sherman Oaks, California, and the protagonist is a 66-year-old mother who lives with her husband. We must mention that she didn’t want to say her name to protect her daughter’s identity. The thing is that the mother thought that, at her age, she would be enjoying a quiet house and more time for herself. But, at the beginning of 2024, her 27-year-old daughter came back home to live with them.
She clearly explained that they didn’t expect having to support a child financially again.
How much do they spend every month?
Since her daughter came back home, the parents cover all of her daughter’s living expenses. According to her mother, the total cost is almost $5,000 every single month, which is divided the following way:
- Up to $1,500 on food.
- About $700 on transport.
- Nearly $400 for her pet cat.
As you can see, it’s not about luxury expenses. However, this amount of money has a huge impact on the family’s economic situation. The mother explains that they keep paying for everything because they don’t want her daughter living on the street.
Sacrifices
These extra expenses have forced the parents to make important sacrifices. One of them is that they could no longer go on vacation because the mother says travelling was something she wanted to do at this age, but now it’s not a priority.
What’s more, the father, who works as a radiologist, is concerned about retirement since it would not only mean losing income but also losing access to employer-sponsored health insurance. That insurance currently costs the couple nearly $600 per month just to cover their daughter.
Families’ economic impact
This is not an isolated case. A study published in May by Thrivent, a financial services company, shows that almost 4% of parents in the U.S. state that financially supporting their adult children between 18 and 35 years old has affected their savings goals.
This is the highest percentage recorded since the beginning of the survey, four years ago. This proves that many families are forced to spend more money than they had planned, risking their future financial stability.
The emotional side
The financial aspect of this situation is just one side. Kim Muench, a parenting coach who specializes in young adults, explains that 80% of the issue is emotional and only 20% is financial.
Many parents stop travelling because they don’t trust leaving their adult children alone. The mother of this story says that she imagined a quieter life with her husband and their dogs. Instead, she feels constant worry and stress about her daughter’s future.
Communication and limits
Kim Muench points out that, in most cases, parents believe the situation will be temporary. The thing is that the problem starts when there is no clear plan for the future.
When adult children do not slowly take on financial responsibility, parents begin to fear they will be supporting them forever. Muench suggests calm, ongoing conversations instead of sudden ultimatums.
Small steps can help, such as asking the adult child to pay their phone bill or save money weekly to simulate rent. These steps help build responsibility while still offering support.
So…
The next time you wonder if you should continue spending for your grown child, remember: thinking about your own life is not selfish, but necessary. By managing both love and finances carefully, you can help your child while still enjoying the life you’ve worked hard to build.