We all remember the feeling of freedom we experienced when we left our parents’ house. It is a feeling of joy mixed with fear at the prospect of starting to live as an adult without a curfew. You can imagine the frustration and loneliness felt by many graduates who, after finishing their time at the campus, have to make the decision to move back in with their parents after their busy university life.
The statistics speak for themselves: more than 50% of young graduates between the ages of 18 and 34 are returning to live in multigenerational households. The peak occurred in 2020, as the COVID pandemic left many people in the US without work and unable to attend classes in person, but it is a new social trend driven by external economic factors.
Adapting to a new social dynamic
Moving back in with your parents, even if it saves you money on rent, feels like taking a step backward. It’s a reverse culture shock, where you feel like you’re back to square one. Most people who move back in with their parents describe a feeling of loss of independence and maturity; after all, they have to explain where they are going, who they are going with, and when they will be back. They are back under the same roof as their parents, and therefore the dynamic (no matter how hard they try to avoid it) seems like adolescence all over again.
This is a time of loneliness and a tendency toward depression: the busy social life of college is reduced to a few sporadic messages as you try to keep in touch with your once beloved classmates. Were you friends because you liked each other, or because you simply spent all day together? Everyone moves on with their lives and friendships drift apart. It is bitter to face the reality that the friends you have spent the last few years with have moved on.
Why are graduates returning to their parents’ homes?
Young American adults have learned that independence is one of the most important things. However, there are three economic factors working against them like a violent storm surge: inescapable student debt, sky-high housing costs, and a diluted job market.
Tuition rates and student loans are skyrocketing. The average graduate owes $25,000 in college loans. That’s debt before even looking at mortgages to buy a home.
Speaking of housing, wages are not keeping pace with rents; if their parents could afford a small studio while working and paying off their children’s student loans, Millennials and Gen Zers cannot afford to do the same. The entry-level salary does not have the same purchasing power it did 30 or 40 years ago. Even if urban centers offer better job opportunities for graduates, paying for housing in the city is impossible for a single person who does not want to share an apartment with others.
Finally, a university degree no longer guarantees professional success. The proliferation of university degrees that are useless in the real world of work (outside academia and teaching, of course) has created a highly educated workforce that lacks the skills needed for everyday jobs. The result is an increasingly high unemployment rate among highly qualified people, and graduates with qualifications such as master’s degrees working in manual jobs that were previously reserved for the working class who had not attended university.
Is it wrong, going back to your parents’?
Although it hurts to lose our independence, most financial experts agree that it may be better to move back in with your parents. It allows you to use the money you would have spent on rent to pay off the debts you accumulated during college. By sharing a roof and expenses with your parents, you can now save to invest, pay off college loans, and start saving for a down payment on a home in your name.
Otherwise, you could fall into the trap of credit cards and accumulated interest. Although it may seem like a simple solution, you end up paying more and delaying potential financial stability for years. Throughout human history, it has been normal to live with your entire family until you got married or found a job in another location. Leaving the family nest early is, from an anthropological point of view, a modern anomaly.