Ever wondered what exactly drives us to complain? It surely isn’t just to torment everyone else with our bad mojo. Usually, when we start griping, our goal is simply to “let off steam.” We tell ourselves that releasing those feelings will bring relief. Damned be those who have to endure our endless whining. But it’s for a good cause; after all, we will feel far better after our long-winded harangue—or so we think.
However, unlike good crying sessions, constant complaining seems to be actually negative for everyone involved: those who do the active complaining, those who have to listen to it, and our very brains are deeply affected by this toxic thinking. And there are studies to back this up.
Constant complaining, fruitless outcomes
For starters, voicing negativity rarely improves our mood; worse, it is contagious and tends to drag down everyone listening. Psychologist Jeffrey Lohr, who has researched this behavior, offered a memorable comparison: People generally avoid passing gas in elevators if they can help it. Spewing anger is effectively the same thing—an “emotional fart” in a confined space. You might think it will help, but you are completely mistaken.
So, we know that whining ruins your vibe and brings down your friends and coworkers, but the downsides of constant pessimism go deeper. It turns out that it actually damages your brain and your physical health. Seriously.
Writing for Psych Pedia, Steven Parton—an author who studies human behavior—breaks down how complaining does more than just negatively shift your brain patterns; it also takes a heavy toll on your mental well-being. He actually takes it a step further, arguing that complaining can quite literally be lethal. Below are three distinct ways he believes this habit damages your physical health:
You become like the company you keep
Spending time dwelling on your own pessimistic thoughts programs your brain for negativity, but spending time with pessimistic people does the exact same thing. Why is that? “When we observe someone feeling a specific way (be it rage, sorrow, or joy, etc.), our own brain ‘rehearses’ that emotion to understand their experience. It achieves this by trying to activate the exact same synapses in your head so that you can relate to the feeling you are witnessing.
Essentially, that is what empathy is. It explains the roots of mob mentality…. It is that collective euphoria we feel at music festivals,” notes Parton. “However, it is also what happens during a night out with those buddies who absolutely love to whine non-stop.”
So, if you want to build up your ability to be positive while reducing your instinct for gloom, you need to “surround yourself with joyful people who help program your brain for love.” If you want to know how to shield yourself from the bad vibes of others, consider these suggestions.
Stress takes a toll on your body at a physical level
While all of this seems like a solid reason to avoid pessimism for the sake of your sanity, Parton emphasizes that kicking the habit of griping is just as vital for your physical well-being. He points out that when your brain activates those anger pathways, you are actually compromising your immune system; you end up spiking your blood pressure and raising the chances of developing heart disease, obesity, diabetes, and a whole host of other nasty conditions.
The substance to blame here is cortisol, the stress hormone. According to Parton, engaging in negativity triggers the release of this hormone, and having chronically high amounts of it messes with your ability to learn and remember things. It also suppresses your immune function and bone density, while contributing to weight gain, high blood pressure, cholesterol issues, and heart trouble… the list effectively never ends.
So next time you feel anger bubbling inside you. Try some breathing exercises, some mindfulness meditation, or simply pour yourself out into a Bullet Journal. But for the love of God, leave your friends and relatives alone.