As Mariah Carey likes to sing every November 1 in “low G – high G – high E”… It’s tiiiiiime! As much as we are supposed to love Chrismas, those of us who own a full size mirror—and still have a shred of vanity left—are bracing ourselves for the havoc that those cute (and delicious) marzipans and biscuits will break within our metabolisms.
December is the worst month for being on a diet—followed closed by July and its damned BBQs. We are armed only with a gym membership—which, let’s be honest, you haven’t used since the Succession finale—and a vague hope that calories don’t count if you eat them while standing up and making small talk with that distant cousin you last saw ten years ago.
Let’s be honest with ourselves for a moment. You are going to gain weight this Christmas. We are all going to gain weight this Christmas.
But, because you enjoy pretending to be the smartest person at the dinner table, I have some science for you. It turns out that Intermittent Fasting (IF) isn’t just for tech bros in Silicon Valley trying to live forever or Instagram influencers selling tea—as in real tea, not gossip tea. It is actually a legitimate biological hack that changes your brain structure. Yes, neuroscience has confirmed that skipping a meal might actually stop you from acting like a hedonistic zombie in front of a buffet.
A recent study from China involving 25 obese volunteers over 62 days has proven that we are all just meat puppets controlled by our gut bacteria. What a humbling thought, huh?
Our Gut, In the Middle of Intestine
Here is the breakdown of why you are fat, why it’s not entirely your fault, and how fasting fixes it.
You probably think you decide what to eat. That is cute, but in reality, you are governed by the Brain-Gut-Microbiome (BGM) Axis.
Your gut is filled with trillions of bacteria that act like a microscopic mafia. They send chemical messages to your brain via the vagus nerve and your bloodstream. When you eat garbage, you breed garbage bacteria (which would explain a lot of uni student behaviour patterns!). These bacteria then scream at your brain to send more garbage down the chute.
The Myth of Willpower: You Are Addicted, Not Hungry
In people who struggle with weight (read: most of us), the brain scans look suspicious. Specifically, the fMRI scans in the study showed that the inferior frontal orbital gyrus is usually lit up like the Eye of Sauron looking for the Ring. This is the part of the brain involved in addiction and cognitive control.
When it is hyperactive, you have zero chill. You are essentially Gollum, and the glazed ham is your Precious.
This implies that your lack of willpower isn’t a character flaw. It is a neurological short-circuit that fasting seems to repair. Which would explain why so many people have likened the Ozempic treatment as “finally shutting off a radio they didn’t realize was blasting off 24/7”.
Fighting the mental fog
The modern person in the West os plagued by something called “mental fog”. A billion-dollar industry has sprung to combat it with therapy, energy drinks and lots of ultra-proccessed foods who promise you they will make you feel better… for the right price. Isn’t that convenient for them?
While we know you don’t want to look like the Grinch at your family gathering (anyone who turns down Grandma’s chocolate cookies is nothing short of a monster) we would sincerely ask you to search on your own for ketosis, paleo diet, and what exactly our ancestors diet consisted off before we invented agriculture. Spoiler, we didn’t eat Kellog’s cornflakes, lunchables or refined sugar… and we are all right for hundreds of millenia.
Is this all in vain!? (Or in our brains?)
So, there you have it. Science has confirmed that if you stop eating for a while, your brain rewires itself to stop being addicted to food. Will you use this information to navigate the Christmas season with the grace of a zen monk? Probably not. At least now, when you are lying on the couch in a food coma watching Home Alone, you will know exactly why it is happening.